In my twenty years of existence (nuks!), I have always assumed that my parents were never really the best people to talk to whenever shitty stuff are happening with my life. Sometimes, I figure things out by myself through exploration, or by merely being strong. I guess it’s one of the reasons why I’m not fully dependent with people, although I’m surrounded by tons of them. I quite learned the art of managing and carrying myself wisely despite personal insecurities and challenges.

We just had an open forum tonight because there are a few important issues we need to discuss altogether as a family. It was nice to know that we have to gather up (even though I’m dead tired soon as I got home from school) and sit together as we talk about some stuff. It’s not really a big deal; pardon my blabbering but its main premise has something to do with our futures. I appreciated my parents’ efforts to open up the seemingly bearable stuff. Even though we’re faced with responsibilities as their children (i.e. please them with good grades, or be good a sheep to them), I finally understood why they set high expectations to us.

Although the talk was condescending and dragging, I could say that it was dynamic too. I learned new things, and realized my shortcomings. I know I could be really indifferent about them issues most of the times, and I don’t want my parents worrying about the petty burdens concerning my sibs (i.e. my bro’s ugly girlfriend and pseudo-rebellion, or my sis’ bitchiness). I’m glad to the universe this talk happened.

Also, I was asked by dad if I smoke. I didn’t see the question coming ergo I was caught off guard. Apparently our helper saw me smoking yesterday and told mom about it. I laid the answer out, and didn’t get pissed because there’s no point in denying it. Anyway, it was followed with another bigger question: ‘how often do you smoke?’ I answered ‘whenever I’m stressed.’ At the end of it, things were okay. My parents are okay with it too; they just don’t want me to be really abusive with cigarettes because of its negative side effects to the human body. Apparently they don’t want me dead or sick because of lung cancer or whatever. Sayang naman daw ang investment nila sa akin. I love them.