Maybe it is my fault for caring too much that when it backfires, the impact is intolerably twice the pain. Maybe I have to wake up from too much daydreaming, or stop myself from burying my head in the sand because I keep on ignoring things. Maybe I have to constantly remind myself that things are getting real each day; that things settle for a while but it does not erase the fact that there is a huge bowl of unresolved issues stuck elsewhere down my subconsciousness.

Perhaps it’s time I should start realizing disappointments are everywhere and anyone, even those who you trust and love the most, could use a scythe and attack you at the back anytime soon. Maybe I have taken abstract things such as love and friendship so seriously that they cost me greatly in the end. While other relationships were built on lies and false pretenses, some are remarkably genuine and free of bullshit.

Maybe I am the guy who falls in after the fall out. Maybe I’m the guy who does not burn bridges but closes doors. Or maybe, just maybe, I have always been a good guy. I was too much of that guy who would let those things that bring hurt simply pass by. Maybe I could turn to the dark side this time. Maybe I could use a bigger ounce of selfishness that all I just have to think of now is how to make me feel better again.  Maybe I should start doing things to please myself, not others.   Maybe I have to start doing myself enough favors this time.

Maybe I should stop myself from over thinking.

Maybe I will be alright once I find the other side of someday.